I submitted a poem last night to The New Yorker. They said it can take up to three months to hear back. I got rejected immediately.

“I found love when I stopped looking for it. And I sold it precisely when everyo…”

“I am the egg salad sandwich of love. The only problem is, I’m in the mood for a…”

“My favorite flower is the tulip. I’m crazy like Holland about them. I’ll even p…”

“I stole her perfume out of her car, and in its place I left a loud fart.”