I talked to a mother of nine last night, and I thought, “Nine is nine years too young to be a mother.

“I’m going to go up on my way down. I’m just a sideways sort of person.”

“A writer edits his thoughts more thoroughly the more readers he has. You can te…”

“It has always been a fantasy of mine to drive a bulldozer. If I had a bulldozer…”

“How big is my penis? Big enough to touch my hands.”