I think homeless people, like rainwater, are better off in street gutters, rather than just hanging out on my roof.

“Love sounds like an elephant weighs. I know, because I’ve seen it with my own t…”

“I keep my love in the fridge, next to my meat, because you simply can’t beat it.”

“I can’t get car parts at Lowes, the home improvement store? If I lived in my ca…”

“I’d imagine if you called me Cherry Cheeks, it’d make me blush like a salad.”