I think the best punishment for a misbehaving child is to strap them to a chair and make them listen to Lady Gaga. Actually, perhaps that’s too cruel, too close to torture.

“I keep my socks in a filing cabinet, if that tells you what kind of lover I am.”

“I’ve had a stressful day, and I need something stronger than beer. Somebody fet…”

“I don’t have a blue-collar job. It’s more of a green collar, because of all the…”

“When you see my skill with a brick, you’ll think I’m skilled under the blanket.…”