I think trees should bloom earlier in the spring. They act like they are on a schedule. It’s not like they have anywhere to go.

“If you asked me if I’d rather make love to you, or have my balls cut out with t…”

“Just to show my dad that I think he's number one, I bought him a urinal cake fo…”

“I think a cool war helmet is painted with red and white concentric circles, exa…”

“I have a lot of faith. I mean, I believe I do.”