I thought I was placing my hand on her knee. But it turned out to be her saggy boob.

“She’s ultra conservative, while I am ultraviolet. I would show, but I’m beyond …”

“4 am—if I’m ever up that early, it’s because I’m up that late.”

“A brick could be used as a Disappointment Cube. Here, I’m giving mine to you, b…”

“If love had four legs and fur, would you try to pet it, chase it, or serve it u…”