I took my shoes for a walk. They’re furry and they bark.

“I don’t want to step on anybody’s toes, particularly not mine. Especially not w…”

“I’m 6’3”, but you would think I was Napoleon’s height because I’m slouched over…”

“10% ago I was 90% unsure of what I didn’t want to do. Now I’m just 33.3% sure t…”

“Five sicks people in the hospital (56). I made each one a “Get well soon” card …”