I turned my hand over just in time to avoid a slap on the wrist. I was applauded for my effort.

“I want to end my life by eating so much Viagra that I go out like that movie an…”

“My meat smells like cat food. Makes me want to lick my own asshole.”

“I’m older today than yesterday, and therefore I must be more mature.”

“A brick could be held in one hand, and a stack of dollar bills in the other, to…”