I used to date an older obese woman named Ten, but everyone just called her "X". Now I just call her ex X. She'll be XXXIV next month, and I think I'll get her an XXL sweatshirt for her birthday.

“A brick could be used as a key to unlock a door disguised as a brick wall. The …”

“There are two apples, one is green and the other is red. Which apple would the …”

“When anybody asks me what time it is, I always say, “Yesterday, plus 24 hours.”

“Someday I want to write a sixteen-syllable Haiku about the death and disappeara…”