I used to drive a parking lot, and I’d always park it directly under somebody’s car.

“This is the true story of my life, as told by a complete liar (me). While that …”

“If I only ate popsicles, I wonder if I’d rather freeze or starve to death. Free…”

“More than anything, I just want to be somebody. Somebody like my own clone.”

“I’d start a war just to illustrate the value of peace.”