I used to have straw-colored hair. Horses loved it.

“Would you mind washing my feet? I’m a centipede, so it may take you a century.”

“I’ll flick a penny to the dirt, and if I see one on the ground I won’t pick it …”

“My handyman is handicapped and oh so handsome, because he’s my clone.”

“Your dinner is mocking me. I’ll kill it and eat it.”