I want a 100% kind of relationship, and I’m willing to give it 50%.

“A brick can’t cure cancer. But who knows, maybe a brick combined with a blanket…”

“The last three inches of my penis shaft are perfect. Of course, the last three …”

“I live 20 miles away from 30 miles per hour. Horses get great gas mileage.”

“Who art thou, Art? Do you make art the way I make love—with a paintbrush?”