I want to be the kind of person that kind people like and want to be like.

“I’ll gyrate my hips at irate guests to generate income for the generations.”

“Education will only take you so far. To go even further, I’d recommend getting …”

“I put the yes in eyes. Except when I blink, because that’s definitely a no acti…”

“I don’t need a hearing aid—I need a listening aid. And this aid, she’d better b…”