I want to create a cologne that smells like a whisper. It’ll be for all the secret admirers out there.

“I like cardboard. Of course, I have to be in the mood to eat Pizza Hut.”

“The rumor is that my cousin dates phoenix sculptures made out of cheese. It has…”

“Dear cat, your ears are flipped inside out, so I know you’re not listening to a…”

“I bought a zoo, which is funny, because I own the very place that should own me.”