I want to do something spontaneous, like combust.

“I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy.”

“I go to sleep in my business suit, because it makes my dreams of success seem m…”

“The truth is I did try to stab him. I tried to stab him with a butter knife. Wh…”

“I’m a closet sociopath. You can tell by all the skeletons I have hanging up nex…”