I want to go to sleep in my time machine and wake up eight hours in the future.

“If I were stranded on a desert island, and could have only one person and three…”

“Women get lonely, while men merely get horny. I should know, because I’d feel l…”

“Half man, half woman, hermaphrodites are 100% love—self love.”

“Your mother, my mother, and mother of pearl walk into a bar, and the bartender …”