I want to grow a tan and an accent, then dig it out of my garden and staple it to my naked body. I like Salmon Rushdie like a bear would. Especially with a honey glaze.

“When I was a kid, I’d leave my door cracked with a piece of lint on top, and if…”

“A brick could be used to cool your drink, like a large ice cube.
”

“When I sing, it sounds like I’m gargling spaghetti. Is it any wonder that women…”

“I can see myself in my teacher’s eyes. I look like a pupil.”