I want to write a song called “Two Straws and a Spoon,” about one man being cuckolded by a milkshake.

“When certain people can’t figure out why a certain place produces a certain thi…”

“I love having a ceiling fan, although sometimes I wish he wouldn't cheer so lou…”

“I weigh more than I used to. I've been eating a lot of fast food, so I must hav…”

“You don’t have to visit an asylum to see insanity. All you have to do is visit …”