I wanted a divorce, so I bought myself a house, to give me the incentive to stay married.

“My computer set-up is crazy. I have wireless set up on my iMac, aimed at a rout…”

“Love is like a banana, and I keep it in my pocket on cold days to warm up my ha…”

“A blanket could be bunched up and used as a seat cushion. But I’d rather cut of…”

“Don’t talk while you’re talking. It interrupts me.”