I was driving on the highway and saw an orange sign on the side of the road that said, “Shoulder Work,” and I thought, “I could sure go for a massage right now.” So I pulled over.

“There are levels of humor. The level above mine is invisible and inaudible.”

“Me and Ruth minus Ruth leaves me Ruthless—and makes me ruthless.”

“I like instant gratification. It’s like instant coffee, only it won’t keep you …”

“Do either a brick or a blanket have Buddha nature? The answer is yes and no and…”