I was rubbing the pieces of bacon like they were strands of a lover’s hair. Of course they weren’t, because all my exes had hair like scrambled eggs.

“We’re different, you and I. I am a Rorschach Test, and you, you are a butterfly…”

“By the time I tell you to start doing something, it’s time for you to stop list…”

“Agatha’s older than I was when I was her age.”

“Only a friend or a giraffe would stick his neck out for you. But only a giraffe…”