I wear a helmet when I write, because if you’re doing it right, writing is dangerous.

“Jarod Kintz likes writing about himself in the third person, because he really …”

“Right now is the youngest I’ll ever be, so I suppose I’d better act immature wh…”

“I keep my love in the trunk. And I drive slowly over speed bumps, so she doesn’…”

“I thought I was eating a candy bar, but it turned out to be a yummy burrito. I …”