I wear J. Crew. But only when I go out rowing.

“Love is to beer as I am to drunk. And you say I’m not romantic. Shoot, I’m so r…”

“A brick could be used to ascertain the truth. And then logically, a non-brick c…”

“Bums are called bums because they sit on their ass all day.”

“If I told you I don’t tell lies, that itself would be a lie.”