I wish somebody would combine tasers and dildos, and test the devices out on all the politicians in Washington DC. Well, all the politicians except Barney Frank, who’d actually derive pleasure from the experiment.

“A blanket could be used like a Love Fleece. I imagine you’re shaking your head.…”

“I keep a fish in each pocket, and one in my left shoe, so I don’t drown in your…”

“Being in the womb was like taking a nine-month bath. I wanted to take a shower,…”

“A brick could be lodged inside a home to provide comfort, stability, hope, chan…”