I wish to report an attempted murder—on my clone. Someone tried to drink my semen out of beaker number two.

“A drunk can't follow a line of reasoning, even if it is a double white line.”

“A lot of people like wife swapping. I've got such a great wife I would only swa…”

“A blanket could be used to hide my shame and cover my insecurities. But so coul…”

“My skin hasn’t been sleeping. It stays awake just itching for a fight.”