I would eat my soup in silence, but it’s alphabet soup. They’re all capital letters and they are shouting at me. I’m not anorexic or illiterate, so alphabet soup is like a nourishing novel. An anorexic should make a suicide note out of the letters.

“When certain people can’t figure out why a certain place produces a certain thi…”

“If you’re at the bar trying to pick up women, remember: bend at the knees.”

“She sucked my finger, and I licked the sleepy seeds out of the corner of her ey…”

“I was hoping you’d leave the back door open for me, I said as he turned around …”