I would never date Austin. Not that it’s gay, but it’s simply too densely populated for a relationship.

“A brick could be used as a steak knife, and a fly swatter could be used as a me…”

“If my last name were Bedient, I’d want to Irishize it and have you call me O’Be…”

“He was my distant cousin. Not only was he 50 miles away and 50 years away, but …”

“It reminds me of something Zelda told her friend about me when she didn’t think…”