I would offer to meet up for some coffee, but I don’t drink coffee. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to burden you with my personal problems. It’s just that I haven’t been the same since the Folgers fiasco of ‘04.

“What is man’s shared IQ? And more important, how thick should my body armor be …”

“The number I had for her didn’t work. But in this depression, could you blame i…”

“I carry my love over, and I carry over the two when we multiply.”

“A blanket could be used to keep you warm on a cold night. Just pour some gasoli…”