I wrote something for my local newspaper, but nobody read it because it got buried in the obituary section.

“Some people wish they could have invented the wheel. But I’m trying to reinvent…”

“Love is as iffy as Kipling.”

“A blanket could be used to stop the bleeding. But dammit you’re going to have t…”

“A blanket could be used to suppress yawns. Just curl up in the technological wo…”