I’d kill for any one of my friends. Thankfully for the overpopulated prison system, I don’t have any friends.

“His eyes were so blue, and his teeth so yellow, that the overall impression was…”

“I just realized my reality, and I’d like to say No Thanks. I’m going back to sl…”

“I could inject a brick in each of my butt cheeks and then be like ancient Greec…”

“The door handle is on the wrong side of the door. It’s on the inside only, only…”