I’d like to wade through all the people named Wade in this city, and personally call all of them to congratulate them on their fabulous name.

“The reason I make things so complicated is simple: Because I like being the unc…”

“Your dinner is mocking me. I’ll kill it and eat it.”

“To take another person’s life for personal gain is the most selfish act imagina…”

“A brick would make a great stocking stuffer at Christmas—especially if you chis…”