I’d make a great politician. I’d make it out of pig shit, so it wouldn’t be as foul as it is now.

“Algebra is numbers forgetting why they’re letters.”

“I'm so excited. I just bought a new file cabinet, some manila folders, some sti…”

“Water is like love, but love is not like water. No, because if it were, I’d be …”

“I’ll trade my formal neckwear for your love, if your love has an equal or great…”