I’d rather be snorkeling in the sea of love. But instead I’m stuck here, in a fully paid, all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean.

“The phrase “The cat’s out of the bag” tells that a secret’s been exposed to the…”

“I applied for an overnight stocking position at a supermarket, but I didn’t get…”

“My favorite unit of time is the hour, because I collect them and store as many …”

“I’ve got semen stains on my shirt, and spaghetti stains on my underwear. Ah, bu…”