I’d rather count to one billion, than waste my time thinking I could count on you.

“In a bookstore you can find me in the romance section, because I’m not a lover,…”

“Starbucks has odd drink sizes. I say man’s hands were meant to be cupped, so po…”

“Mustaches are not only fashion statements, but they’re useful for tickling vagi…”

“I want to be a naughty pirate, because when I put on that eye patch, it barely …”