I’d rather fake my own fog, than fake a steamy love scene. Can I interest you in some mist? It’s homemade.

“If love had an exact location, it would be the spot where silence meets noise. …”

“For my birthday, a few of my wealthier friends got me a pot to piss in. Also, t…”

“My new book is going well. It’s practically writing itself! Actually, what I me…”

“Pain produces progress. So if you truly love me, you will try to hurt me as muc…”