I’d rather make love to a robot than a politician, because it’d be more personable. Anyway, talking vacuum cleaners with flesh and suits freak me out.

“A brick and a blanket could be combined to create a blink. And a half a blink, …”

“He’s got the world’s softest knuckles. They’re like rubber the way they bounce …”

“Women won’t sleep with me for the same reason that I don’t pay for sex—I don’t …”

“If you don’t speak Greek, how do you know if it’s all Greek to you?”