I’d rather own something that’s worth millions to nobody, than something that’s worth nothing to millions.

“I’d never shoot shrapnel at a bear, because why ruin a perfectly good rug like …”

“And then she walked out of my life forever. Too bad she was hitchhiking. I shou…”

“Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. No…”

“I need love. Here’s a list of other things I need: eggs, butter, flour, and sug…”