If anybody ever tells me to face them like a man, I’ll get offended, because my face can’t grow a beard.

“I used to want to be a missionary, but I don’t believe that’d be the best posit…”

“I like my spaghetti like I like my women. All over my shirt.”

“Love isn’t stackable and interlocking, like boxes or Legos. Love is like a one-…”

“We’re all trying to come to terms with our mortality. Well, except for me, beca…”