If drugs really numb your consciousness, they'd be a good thing. As it was, they slowed you down, confused you, kept you vulnerable to violent flashes of recall, and then agitated you and made you unsure of what you knew and didn't know.

“I was a newborn vampire, weeping at the beauty of the night.”

“When you find out there is no ultimate good and evil in which you can place you…”

“That passivity in me has been the core of it all, the real evil. That weakness,…”

“I love you,' Marius whispered suddenly, passionately as a mortal man might. 'I …”