If financial genius were legs, my girlfriend would own fourteen pairs of Jimmy Choos, and not have a single foot to put one on.

“If a blanket could be used to keep one person warm, then it stands to reason th…”

“Helen Keller, she just can’t see how much I love her. Also, she acts like she c…”

“My dream as a boy was to write a coloring book, but the nagging problem was alw…”

“There’s not a lot of food on the moon. Not unless you’re into cannibalism.”