If God had wanted men to swim, he would have taught fish to fish. But fish don’t fish, and neither do I, but it’s also the reason I don’t swim.

“A brick could be used to gauge the level of reciprocated sexual interest of the…”

“We have no secrets from each other, though sometimes I wish some things were mo…”

“In a good economy, people work hard to succeed. In a bad economy, people work h…”

“I once saw a politician walking a dog, and I thought, “How absurd—an animal wal…”