If I could rotate my neck 180 degrees, like an owl, I'd go around wearing backwards baseball caps, just to mess with people.

“A disobedient child is one who blinks of his own volition, without being told t…”

“I made love with a cute woman yesterday. I would have made love with a gorgeous…”

“They call alcohol spirits, because it’s the spirit turned liquid. Would you dri…”

“A blanket could be used to stop terrorism. Unless that terrorist has a small kn…”