If I got a new heart with a heart transplant, I’d be forever grateful. Or at least grateful for the next 50 years or so.

“A brick could be used to test how fast you throw a baseball, if, you know, base…”

“She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my …”

“The peace corps looks like peace corpse, and death isn’t a very peaceful though…”

“The rocky terrain wasn’t the reason we were on uneven footing. She had no feet,…”