If I had a choice between walking along a sidewalk with no rails and a thousand foot drop, or jumping in a tank full of blood and sharks, I’d choose the sharks.

“My love is like one of those wooden Russian nesting dolls (matryoshka doll). I …”

“It’s sad when people want to wear out a perfectly good last name when they don’…”

“Leave me with my leftover meatloaf and my Yesterday Sandwich. I’ll be in love t…”

“A door shaped like a vagina is more inviting. Sure, I’ll come in, but not slouc…”