If I had all the money in the world, I’d love seeing my name on billboards, buildings, and battleships. The only thing I wouldn’t like seeing my name on would be a credit card. Especially not while I am spending it.

“A blanket could be used as a warm topping on a hamburger, sort of like processe…”

“Two years ago I bought my brother’s slightly used iMac for five hundred bucks. …”

“I just invented a new light that shuts off automatically when an ugly person wa…”

“Drinks heavily loaded with ice are reasonably effective, but the best way to co…”