If I knew beforehand that I’d need a good backhand, I’d never have taken up tennis. Or bitch slapping.

“My writing, it’s all I have. Well, aside from my health. And shelter, food, and…”

“I try to put myself in another man’s shoes. Or a woman’s, if she has large enou…”

“There’s not a lot of food on the moon. Not unless you’re into cannibalism.”

“I respect people who make eye contact (blind people get a free respect card).”