If I knew everything, life would be lonely, as everyone else would want to explore the world, and I’d be content with a cat on my lap sitting in the dark. 


“A brick could be used as a measurement of time. Yes, just think how stylish you…”

“Dear mom, My lieutenant is a prostitute. Can you please send me more lunch mone…”

“A part-time worker is fully employed, half the time. In other words, they are p…”

“What’s with the zombie craze? Zombies are half alive, half dead, right? Sounds …”