If I remain silent, the proper response is, “You don’t say.

“I was born a master of the universe in Manhattan. Not Manhattan, New York City,…”

“Sometimes looking like you know is better than actually knowing. People respect…”

“I could save money if I ate my coworker’s pussy for lunch, rather than going to…”

“When I smell small, my nose gets clogged up. Think what would happen if I whiff…”