If I were a professor, I’d bring my cat to class. I’d be silent until it meowed, and as soon as it did, I’d stand up and say, “Lecture’s over.

“Life seems so am/pm. But really it’s not as balanced as all that.”

“Love is the most precious gift you could ever possibly hope to steal. Some wome…”

“On March 5th, I'm having my birthday celebration. The party starts at midnight,…”

“His voice was so gravelly I could drive a truck on it. And I would have, but I …”