If I were among midgets I didn’t know, I’d be afraid they’d see I was uncomfortable making small talk.

“The only problem with politicians taking two week vacations every year is it’s …”

“I can tell you what I wasn’t doing when I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to: …”

“A brick could be used as a middle name. But who’d be dumb enough to do that, wh…”

“Right now I’m naked, like how my pizza comes out of the oven. I like my topping…”